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Sometimes the journey to parenthood is unpredictable

On Behalf of | Feb 7, 2019 | adoption, stepparent adoption

It is typical for couples to imagine what it will be like to have children. And while many times this results in a natural pregnancy, this is not always possible. Same-sex couples or those who struggle with infertility often look to other options.

Adoption is a wonderful choice for many. And while in vitro fertilization (IVF) may work for some couples, the process can be extremely expensive and often includes multiple attempts. Still, if you desire to have a baby but feel as though adding to your family may not be in the cards for you, you might want to consider surrogacy.

One celebrity speaks out about her infertility

It is possible that some women may feel defective if they do not carry their own baby. However, you need not allow potential feelings of inadequacy to dictate your ability to become a parent.

Actress Gabrielle Union has openly discussed her own road to parenthood, which included a surrogate. As Union publicly reveals her own journey of resilience with her husband, Dwyane Wade, she encourages other couples that: “Every route to parenthood is perfect, worthwhile and amazing.”

Things you might consider when agreeing on terms

If becoming a parent through surrogacy might be a possibility for you, you would be wise to consider all possible ways of ensuring that things go according to plan. Your written surrogacy arrangement should include documentation specifying the:

  • Child belongs to you, immediately upon birth
  • Specific terms of your agreement, including the surrogate’s consent to pregnancy through the means of assisted reproduction
  • Relinquishing of all parental rights and duties by the surrogate mother and her spouse, if she is married

Before entering into an agreement with a surrogate mother, you may want to think about the things that will be important to you throughout the pregnancy, as well as beyond. Since your prospective surrogate must have had a baby before contracting with you, her previous experience may prove helpful.

As you potentially establish a relationship with your surrogate throughout the pregnancy, it might help you feel more like an expectant mother. In many cases, you can create a positive connection with your surrogate, as together you anticipate bringing your child into the world.