When you met the love of your life, his or her children may have made you feel a bit uncomfortable. After all, according to Psychology Today, your partner’s children may view you as an interloper. They also may reject your blended family and dream of the day their parents reunite.
Whether you intend eventually to adopt your stepchildren, you want to have a good relationship with them. While you never may be able to replace your stepkids’ absent parent, you can take some steps to bond with your stepchildren. Doing so may make your life and theirs significantly better.
Take cues from your stepkids
While it may be tempting to try to force a positive relationship with your stepchildren, doing so may have disastrous consequences. That is, your stepkids may resent you for trying too hard. By letting your stepchildren take the lead, you have some time to observe their behaviors, interests and personalities.
Spend some one-on-one time
Your stepchildren have a long and well-developed history with your partner. This causes them to act in certain ways when they are around their biological parent. If you can have some one-on-one outings with each of your stepkids, you have an opportunity to get to know them and vice versa. Even though these outings can be awkward at first, they often pay off.
Just like you need some time to get to know your stepchildren, they need time to acclimate to you. Ultimately, to most effectively bond with everyone in your blended family, you must play a long game instead of expecting immediate results.
